NEIL Oh, that's rich! Like you guys tell your parents off, Mr. CHARLIE Why doesn't he let you do what you want? KNOX Yeah. You need anything, you let us know, huh? NEIL Yes, sir. PERRY You know how much this means to your mother, don't you? NEIL Yes, sir. PERRY After you've finished medical school and you're on your own, then you can do as you damn well please. PERRY Don't you ever dispute me in public! Do you understand? NEIL Father, I wasn't disputing you- MR. PERRY Fellas? Would you excuse us for a moment? MR. NEIL But I'm the assistant editor this year. And I've decided that you should drop school annual. I think that you're taking too many extracurricular activities this semester. CHARLIE It's every bit as tough as they say. NEIL Todd's brother was Jeffrey Anderson. Anyone mind including him? CHARLIE What's his specialty? Bootlicking? NEIL Uh, he's your roommate. CHARLIE Gentlemen, what are the four pillars? BOYS Travesty! Horror! Decadence! Excrement! CHARLIE Okay, study group. How was your summer, Slick? CHARLIE Keen. Know what I mean? CHARLIE Rumor has it you did summer school. He's, uh, born with his foot in his mouth. CAMERON Business as usual, huh? Hey, I heard you got the new kid. FATHER And, oh, did you remember your vaporizer? And the vapor- BOY Hey, how's it going, Neil? CAMERON Neil? Study group tonight? NEIL Yeah, sure. And if he has trouble breathing, you give him- HABER All right, fine. And, oh, if he, if he can't, uh, swallow, you give him one of these. NEIL Oh, so you're that Anderson! FATHER This is for his sinuses. NEIL Why'd you leave Balincrest? TODD My brother went here. NOLAN Neil, we expect great things from you this year. Anderson, you have some big shoes to fill, young man. ANDERSON Thrilling ceremony as usual, Dr. John Keating, himself an honor's graduate of this school and who, for the past several years, has been teaching at the highly regarded Chester School in London. You will have the opportunity later to meet his replacement Mr. Portius of the English Department retired last term. This is why we are the best preparatory school in the United States. This is why you parents have been sending your sons. This, this kind of accomplishment is the result of fervent dedication to the principles taught here. Last year we graduated fifty-one and more than seventy-five percent of those went on to the Ivy League. NOLAN In her first year, Welton Academy graduated five students.
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